Very Advanced, Very Advanced

Every new baby is a unique sunbeam with all of his or her own abilities, skills, intelligences and idiosyncrasies. That's how we feel about Max. Whatever he does that's his best. Whatever he does next, then that's his new best. We don't compare him to any of his peers, we don't check up what he should be achieving and when. We don't obsessively research each developmental milestone and cheer when he passes it.

LIES - of course we do! I'm at least a half-scientist and Ciara is a proper medical scientist. If we didn't at least wonder about these things there would be something wrong with us. There is however so much vagueness about these targets that we can hold our heads and Max's head (we still have to hold it - he won't be able to until at least six or eight weeks) high, no matter what he does and when he does it.

A phrase that I have often heard used, is that a child is very advanced for his or her age. Now I am part of that cult. Our child is very advanced, very advanced. At least that's what we're telling people.

The one thing that wasn't going well was his weight. Again with the precision and obsession with figures. When breast feeding, its impossible to know exactly how much he's eating. There are the requisite numbers of nappies and burps and suckles, but the scales don't lie. With a birth weight of 3.63kg, a subsequent and normal drop to 3.31kg after the first week and then a climb back to 3.6Kg weight was looking very good. Then last week Max was more of a supermodel than a model child. He was weighed at 3.55Kg. Our hearts fell because he was off the graph of greatness, the scale of superness and he certainly wasn't very advanced, he wasn't advanced at all. Again, there is wooliness on the figures. The Doctor spoke of margins of error, different scales, nothing to worry about. We just need to get a second opinion.

So today we made another long walk down to the Public Health Nurse and her accurate scales. Before you make assumptions about whether this weight-gate means that Max is not very advanced, lets look at his achievements. These are the listed "should be able to..." targets from Heidi Murkoff's "What to Expect - The First Year".

Baby should be able to...
Lift head briefly when on stomach on a flat surface - CHECK
Focus on a face - CHECK

Baby will probably be able to...
respond to a bell in some way, such as startling, crying, quieting - CHECK

Baby may possibly be able to...
lift head 45 degrees when on stomach - CHECK

He can also push himself across the blanket during Tummy Time, fill a nappy with extreme force, make a cooing noise, cry like a maniac and steal the heart of anyone who meets him. Very advanced, very advanced.

With all of these milestones in our pockets we made the second long walk down to the Public Health Nurse. He looked so scrawny lying there with no nappy or baby clothes on, in the dish of the scales.

The night before I had bet a bottle of beer on 3.8kg, but this was just optimism. The nice nurse pressed the button and the lines on the scales flashed.

We were confident that this was going to be definitive. The scales had just come back from calibration. That meant that it was as accurate as it could possibly be. This was going to be definitive.

Is the suspense built up enough yet? He weighed in at 4.1Kg. That's right, he's a fatty. A very advanced fatty.

Forget normal, forget being regular. He is advanced, very advanced, very, very advanced.