So Max's nappy rash has cleared up! It was teeth related but there are no new teeth to be seen yet. He has had quite a week. He went to the zoo and he drank his own pee.
Let me tell you about the Zoo first. Max is at the stage that he doesn't really distinguish between the animals and the other people. He looked at goats, he saw penguins and giraffes. The humbolt penguins were the only real hit. They were walking around near to the glass and Max was nose to beak with one of them for a couple of seconds. He flaps his hands exactly like a penguin, he swims a bit like a penguin but there the similarity ends. The two looked at each other for those few seconds and turned away with their dignity and interspecies relations intact. He also looked at Meerkats. His parents enjoyed this much more than he did.
Now for the pee story. It was Friday morning and things were going very well. We were ahead of ourselves. Max was dressed and just ready to get into his car seat. His bottles were prepared and packed away with his and hers lunches. Ciara ran for a bus and I lifted Max up to put him into his suit for the bike. It was then that I caught a whiff of his full nappy. I am used to the noxious fumes that emanate from his nappies so I didn't react, I camly took him into the changing table and took off his clothes. I've got to give you a bit of background - whenever the nappy is taken off, Max grabs his penis. It's not of any concern, most boys do this for their whole lives. He reaches down and squeezes for all he's worth. I keep telling him that it's not a toy and that it won't make a squeaky noise. But he just keeps on squeezing until the nappy goes back on.
Interestingly when he is sitting on a towel bare bummed to defeat the spectre of nappy rash he doesn't go near mini-Max. It's only for the quick nappy change. So Friday morning, the nappy comes off and while I am dealing with the faeces I'm holding his hands. When he is clean he reaches down and I turn my back to reach for a new nappy. Nature takes its course and he pees. He pees while he is holding his penis straight up. The pee goes straight up and miraculously misses his clothes and lands on his mouth and cheeks. This doesn't phase him one little bit. In fact he sticks out his tongue and licks up some more. I am simply horrified. I clean him up, I put on his clothes and I put him in his car seat. I am full of horror and concern that he has done himself great damage. I storm out of the apartment muttering and cursing under my breath. Not only has Max now got some dreadfully virulent pee borne disease but we are late for the morning cycle.
It is only when we are cycling down the hill that I burst out laughing. He drank his own pee. He drank his own pee. As long as that virulent disease doesn't strike this is going to keep me smiling for weeks.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
The rash that dare not speak it's name...
There is a lot of talk in the parenting community about nappy rash. I say community, it is more like a world. There are websites, forums, comment boards, experts, moderators and gurus. There are more bits of advice out there then there are babies. In fact I swear that there are people on these sites that never had kids and just like the buzz of reading a piece of advice on one site and repeating it on another. This has to be the case. There are just too many of them. So they all agree on nappy rash, they agree its a bad thing.
It is a bad thing. It compounds the ridiculous pain that teething causes in the mouth and mirrors it in the other end. At the risk of putting you off your food for a month it is like some evil doer took a cheese grater to our little prince's behind. There are powders, creams, poultices, remedies and herbs that are suggested and according to obsessive internet chat room parents are all guaranteed to work and not work in equal measure.
So Max has some nappy rash. We have lots of options. We can apply each suggested solution in alphabetical order until some or all of them work. We can ignore the problem and let it go away of its own accord with the associated pain suffering and gnashing of new little teeth. We could cover the house in plastic sheeting and leave his nappy off and let him go for it. Plenty of industrial strength cleaner around for the inevitable - and no more nappy rash.
Perhaps a system like the horses in Killarney with their low hanging bags. It would play havock with his crawling but no more nappy rash. Perhaps stop feeding or watering him, just IV injections of nutrients and carbohydrates - so it would mess up his development - but no more nappy rash.
In the meantime he will have to cope with his cheese grater behind, as we try option one, because that is what dedicated parents do. The rest are likely to get us arrested.
It is a bad thing. It compounds the ridiculous pain that teething causes in the mouth and mirrors it in the other end. At the risk of putting you off your food for a month it is like some evil doer took a cheese grater to our little prince's behind. There are powders, creams, poultices, remedies and herbs that are suggested and according to obsessive internet chat room parents are all guaranteed to work and not work in equal measure.
So Max has some nappy rash. We have lots of options. We can apply each suggested solution in alphabetical order until some or all of them work. We can ignore the problem and let it go away of its own accord with the associated pain suffering and gnashing of new little teeth. We could cover the house in plastic sheeting and leave his nappy off and let him go for it. Plenty of industrial strength cleaner around for the inevitable - and no more nappy rash.
Perhaps a system like the horses in Killarney with their low hanging bags. It would play havock with his crawling but no more nappy rash. Perhaps stop feeding or watering him, just IV injections of nutrients and carbohydrates - so it would mess up his development - but no more nappy rash.
In the meantime he will have to cope with his cheese grater behind, as we try option one, because that is what dedicated parents do. The rest are likely to get us arrested.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Learning to crawl
Babies crawl don't they? That's what they do. They want to move and so they propel themselves with all of the might of their little arms and legs. I guess that Max wants to be a little different. Having mastered the art of rolling and letting us capture it on video as proof, he has never used this skill again.
It has become a talking point in the crèche. They refer to Max as the one who doesn't roll. I didn't understand the significance of this until I was there for a few minutes the other day being updated on the biting incident. That's another story altogether. So there I was listening intently to the apologetic tones of the wonderful educarer, a child, only a little older than Max began to roll. They rolled and rolled and rolled until they had reached their destination. Then they stopped, raised themselves up on their forearms and called for assistance from anyone who was listening. This roll was much better than a crawl as it had drama, periodic pauses to confirm trajectory and a good dose of fun.
I was told that such a roll is a clear precursor to a really dynamic crawl. Now crawling has taken a beating due to the advice from all quarters that babies never be left unattended on their tummies. If the babies are not on their tummies they cannot learn to crawl. So we have tummy time where Max is put on his tummy with full supervision and a safety vest. He can raise himself up, he can raise his neck, he meets all of the developmental goals and then goes back to sitting up and chewing anything within reach. As for rolling or crawling though, that's a no. We are putting items out of reach. We are cheering at the merest twitch of his thigh muscles. We are promising him untold riches if he will take that first lunge. But no. He will move when he is ready. His father, I have to sadly report did not crawl until he was one. This has held him back to this day and is a bit embarrassing. We will not allow a story to be told about max at his 21st birthday party that involves a cake, his five bellies and his first crawl. No disrespect to my own parents who were blameless in this matter, I was just a tubby lazy infant. Max may not have licked it from a stone.
But back to the biting incident that I teased you with earlier. Max was bitten by another toddler. The identity of this toddler has been kept a secret and it is just as well. If I knew which cannibal family he, she or it belonged to I would lie in wait for them at the crèche and slash their tyres. Joking aside, the whole episode was both comical and a testament to the great care that he is getting in the crèche.
When I picked him up on the day in question, which shall now forever be know as biter Tuesday, I was met with the usual routine. Max sees me and beams and then starts to cry as I try to gather his things to make the journey home, so I pause and pick him up. This makes gathering the rest of his things five times as hard. The educarers talk me through his day, the ups, the downs, the soiled nappies and the vomits, the sensory bottles and a list of the songs they sang. All went as normal up to this point when an A4 piece of paper was unfolded from the book and the nervous educarer told me that there had been an incident.
My first reaction was that Max had done something awful, like tried to drink the hand sanitizer or eye-gouged on of his crèche-mates. But no, he was the Mahatma Ghandi of this piece. He turned the other cheek, in this case forehead as the evil one sank all four of his/her razor sharp teeth stumps into his precious and delicate skull. I exaggerate. There was a tiny mark on his head. He cared not a jot and shrugged the whole thing off when we discussed it later. The educarers were a little more concerned and had filled out an incident report form with an exact report of the incident and how they had all responded. I was actually amazed. They had really gone to great trouble to detail everything and while I know that this kind of thing is driven by insurance and the spectre of Health&Safety it was very reassuring.
I know that Max could have lashed out and dealt a return blow to the biter. I know he can defend himself, he is capable of beating his mother and me away very quickly. But he chose not to do so under the watchful eyes of the educarers. He is biding his time, one day when their backs are turned and the time is right, that biter will regret ever getting their first tooth and the little tooth fairy will be paying a premature visit to that household. His kicks are coming along very nicely thank you. It's just such a pity about the crawling.
It has become a talking point in the crèche. They refer to Max as the one who doesn't roll. I didn't understand the significance of this until I was there for a few minutes the other day being updated on the biting incident. That's another story altogether. So there I was listening intently to the apologetic tones of the wonderful educarer, a child, only a little older than Max began to roll. They rolled and rolled and rolled until they had reached their destination. Then they stopped, raised themselves up on their forearms and called for assistance from anyone who was listening. This roll was much better than a crawl as it had drama, periodic pauses to confirm trajectory and a good dose of fun.
I was told that such a roll is a clear precursor to a really dynamic crawl. Now crawling has taken a beating due to the advice from all quarters that babies never be left unattended on their tummies. If the babies are not on their tummies they cannot learn to crawl. So we have tummy time where Max is put on his tummy with full supervision and a safety vest. He can raise himself up, he can raise his neck, he meets all of the developmental goals and then goes back to sitting up and chewing anything within reach. As for rolling or crawling though, that's a no. We are putting items out of reach. We are cheering at the merest twitch of his thigh muscles. We are promising him untold riches if he will take that first lunge. But no. He will move when he is ready. His father, I have to sadly report did not crawl until he was one. This has held him back to this day and is a bit embarrassing. We will not allow a story to be told about max at his 21st birthday party that involves a cake, his five bellies and his first crawl. No disrespect to my own parents who were blameless in this matter, I was just a tubby lazy infant. Max may not have licked it from a stone.
But back to the biting incident that I teased you with earlier. Max was bitten by another toddler. The identity of this toddler has been kept a secret and it is just as well. If I knew which cannibal family he, she or it belonged to I would lie in wait for them at the crèche and slash their tyres. Joking aside, the whole episode was both comical and a testament to the great care that he is getting in the crèche.
When I picked him up on the day in question, which shall now forever be know as biter Tuesday, I was met with the usual routine. Max sees me and beams and then starts to cry as I try to gather his things to make the journey home, so I pause and pick him up. This makes gathering the rest of his things five times as hard. The educarers talk me through his day, the ups, the downs, the soiled nappies and the vomits, the sensory bottles and a list of the songs they sang. All went as normal up to this point when an A4 piece of paper was unfolded from the book and the nervous educarer told me that there had been an incident.
My first reaction was that Max had done something awful, like tried to drink the hand sanitizer or eye-gouged on of his crèche-mates. But no, he was the Mahatma Ghandi of this piece. He turned the other cheek, in this case forehead as the evil one sank all four of his/her razor sharp teeth stumps into his precious and delicate skull. I exaggerate. There was a tiny mark on his head. He cared not a jot and shrugged the whole thing off when we discussed it later. The educarers were a little more concerned and had filled out an incident report form with an exact report of the incident and how they had all responded. I was actually amazed. They had really gone to great trouble to detail everything and while I know that this kind of thing is driven by insurance and the spectre of Health&Safety it was very reassuring.
I know that Max could have lashed out and dealt a return blow to the biter. I know he can defend himself, he is capable of beating his mother and me away very quickly. But he chose not to do so under the watchful eyes of the educarers. He is biding his time, one day when their backs are turned and the time is right, that biter will regret ever getting their first tooth and the little tooth fairy will be paying a premature visit to that household. His kicks are coming along very nicely thank you. It's just such a pity about the crawling.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
The eradication of smallpox
They all said it. They all said what creche would bring. They warned us. They said to stock up on Calpol, Neurofen, anti-biotics and anti-virals. They said that creche is a petri dish, a breeding ground for diseases, a veritable pot-puree of poxes and pustule causing nasties.
We laughed behind our hands. We sniggered, not our Max we said. He is a strong robust fighting Irish sort of a baby. He has white blood cells like Ice Hockey enforcers, he has skin of iron and the constitution of an ox. He won't succumb to the little bacteria or the viruses, he is immune.
Look it turned out he wasn't. Now it's not as though he has been wiped out, it's not as though he has lain in bed for the last two weeks. He has however had a sort of running sickness. The best medical advice is that this could last until he is 10 and it becomes uncool to be the guy in class with the runny nose.
The runny nose is a baseline. The runny nose is like the flour in baking, a constant. There are many different additives. The first is a dry cough. A dry hacking 20 Benson's a day cough. Thankfully he coughs very little. The second is a spot of reasonable conjunctivitis. Aparently everyone gets this. It's pus in the eyes, that seems to be all. It didn't seem to bother him too much but the gunk in his eyes when he woke up glued his eyelids shut for a few seconds. This distressed him, but then he got them open and he smiled. Then of course he coughed and got distressed again. These three things, the nose, the cough, the eyes, they are in a little revolving circle of low level illness.
What's next I wonder? Could he get a bit of a stomach bug? I have the wall cleaning liquid at hand. I have the industrial strength nappies in stock. There is enough talcum powder and baby-wipes around to plaster-cast the GPO. If its not a bug then we have the major pharmaceutical companies on speed-dial.
My question is this, why in the hell can we not eradicate this stuff. Think of the loss of earnings, productivity and sanity that is caused by low level sickness. There must be money in it. Are the big multi-nationals not throwing millions at this. Parents of rich and poor alike could surely get behind a campaign. I will certainly throw in a fiver which is all I have left after the creche fees that caused all of this in the first place.
Little Max is bearing it all like a trooper. He was off his food for a bit but is back on it in a big way. Shepard's pie was today's big hit. He is sleeping very well and he is seriously on the mend. The funniest thing is when he sneezes. A long tube of light green splurg shoots out and rests like a dead caterpillar on his upper lip for a few seconds. Just until his hand comes up and spreads the splurg across his face. The trick is getting the tissue to his nose before he gets his hand there. Believe me I have considered strapping his hands down but in the meantime I have become very adept at grabbing tissues and leaping over furniture.
I plan to set up a small virus and bacteria reference lab and let Max be patient zero in an aggressive Edward Jenner style elimination of all baby diseases. Are you with me?
We laughed behind our hands. We sniggered, not our Max we said. He is a strong robust fighting Irish sort of a baby. He has white blood cells like Ice Hockey enforcers, he has skin of iron and the constitution of an ox. He won't succumb to the little bacteria or the viruses, he is immune.
Look it turned out he wasn't. Now it's not as though he has been wiped out, it's not as though he has lain in bed for the last two weeks. He has however had a sort of running sickness. The best medical advice is that this could last until he is 10 and it becomes uncool to be the guy in class with the runny nose.
The runny nose is a baseline. The runny nose is like the flour in baking, a constant. There are many different additives. The first is a dry cough. A dry hacking 20 Benson's a day cough. Thankfully he coughs very little. The second is a spot of reasonable conjunctivitis. Aparently everyone gets this. It's pus in the eyes, that seems to be all. It didn't seem to bother him too much but the gunk in his eyes when he woke up glued his eyelids shut for a few seconds. This distressed him, but then he got them open and he smiled. Then of course he coughed and got distressed again. These three things, the nose, the cough, the eyes, they are in a little revolving circle of low level illness.
What's next I wonder? Could he get a bit of a stomach bug? I have the wall cleaning liquid at hand. I have the industrial strength nappies in stock. There is enough talcum powder and baby-wipes around to plaster-cast the GPO. If its not a bug then we have the major pharmaceutical companies on speed-dial.
My question is this, why in the hell can we not eradicate this stuff. Think of the loss of earnings, productivity and sanity that is caused by low level sickness. There must be money in it. Are the big multi-nationals not throwing millions at this. Parents of rich and poor alike could surely get behind a campaign. I will certainly throw in a fiver which is all I have left after the creche fees that caused all of this in the first place.
Little Max is bearing it all like a trooper. He was off his food for a bit but is back on it in a big way. Shepard's pie was today's big hit. He is sleeping very well and he is seriously on the mend. The funniest thing is when he sneezes. A long tube of light green splurg shoots out and rests like a dead caterpillar on his upper lip for a few seconds. Just until his hand comes up and spreads the splurg across his face. The trick is getting the tissue to his nose before he gets his hand there. Believe me I have considered strapping his hands down but in the meantime I have become very adept at grabbing tissues and leaping over furniture.
I plan to set up a small virus and bacteria reference lab and let Max be patient zero in an aggressive Edward Jenner style elimination of all baby diseases. Are you with me?
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Getting my teeth into it
Yes that's right loyal readers, Max has his first tooth, teeth to be exact for the second one came a day after the first. They are two little sharp things like flint edges sticking out of his gums. He did exactly the right amount of crying and not sleeping to herald their arrival. He had red cheeks and runny stools. I know that this blog does verge on the coprophilic at times but a good teething nappy is an assault on the senses. The sights, the sounds, the smells and best of all, if your technique is not right, the feel. This will continue in fits and starts for a long time. The first set of teeth should number 24 and they take a couple of years to all come down or up. Shortly followed by a rapid falling out. It strikes me as a really stupid system. I would be delighted if a clever geneticist could splice out the milk teeth gene and trigger the regular teeth gene earlier. Or maybe we could just eliminate the milk teeth and have little baby dentures until the adult teeth started to grow. We also need to seriously consider some form of less intact gum. Even for adults, forcing a blunt piece of ceramic through a perfectly lovely piece of flesh is a bit of a pain. I still have two wisdom teeth to come down and they cause great pain when they decide to make a small advance. At least I am not still wearing nappies, otherwise my caregiver would be in for an awful time.
Max has also had a lovely two weeks in crèche. It is a perfectly splendid place full of bright colours, happy babies and caring staff. So caring infant that their titles are actually edu-carers. I do understand that this is a butchering of the English language to a criminal extent but it is reasonably descriptive. They are part nurses and part teachers. 'Nurchers' might be a better term. They look after Max from about 8:10 until 16:10, that's eight hours a day. That's a lot. Thank all that is good, he loves it. At the weekends we adopt a policy of accelerated learning so that we can balance out the amount of input the crèche edu-carers have. Everyone told us that once he went to crèche he would get loads of infections, colds, coughs and awful diseases. He has. His immune system is working like a fire crew on bonfire night. He is producing mucous and pus and doing it all with a brave face. He is equal to this task and the thing that keeps myself and Ciara going through the day's work is the thought of seeing him at the end of it and seeing his beautiful big smile!
But all of that is not all, he is sitting up properly now, he is reaching for things and he can shake a rattle like the best of us. He is singing to himself, he is talking to himself, he is simply growing up at a rate that frightens. We have resolved to grip the sides and hold on tight!
Max has also had a lovely two weeks in crèche. It is a perfectly splendid place full of bright colours, happy babies and caring staff. So caring infant that their titles are actually edu-carers. I do understand that this is a butchering of the English language to a criminal extent but it is reasonably descriptive. They are part nurses and part teachers. 'Nurchers' might be a better term. They look after Max from about 8:10 until 16:10, that's eight hours a day. That's a lot. Thank all that is good, he loves it. At the weekends we adopt a policy of accelerated learning so that we can balance out the amount of input the crèche edu-carers have. Everyone told us that once he went to crèche he would get loads of infections, colds, coughs and awful diseases. He has. His immune system is working like a fire crew on bonfire night. He is producing mucous and pus and doing it all with a brave face. He is equal to this task and the thing that keeps myself and Ciara going through the day's work is the thought of seeing him at the end of it and seeing his beautiful big smile!
But all of that is not all, he is sitting up properly now, he is reaching for things and he can shake a rattle like the best of us. He is singing to himself, he is talking to himself, he is simply growing up at a rate that frightens. We have resolved to grip the sides and hold on tight!
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Long Overdue Updates Pt. 2
So where are we? How is he doing? What exactly is going on in Max's world. He is simply turning from an infant into a baby. To explain this will take some doing and I am quite clear that this may be entirely inexplicable to anyone who is not a parent of Max but sure let me have a go.
Little Max used to have only himself to worry about. He used to enjoy a world of one where his every need was catered for like a high-roller in the most exclusive of Vegas Casinos. His routine was inviolate. His sleeping and waking carefully monitored, recorded and studied in forensic detail.
Things have changed for two very good reasons. The first is that he is now attending crèche and the second is that we discovered a lady named Hogg. Now sadly she is not with us any more but her whispering ways with children are. It turned out that we were falling into some of the accidental parenting traps. These are her words now but on reading one of her conversations about getting children to sleep, it seemed as if she had been spying on us.
Her approach was gentle, she didn't say we were bad parents for rocking our child to sleep, she didn't say we were neglectful of his intellectual needs if we played a bit of music to him. She just pointed out that there was an easier way for both him and us. Now Max is a great sleeper but he does disturb easily. He can start at the test noise and a couple of weeks ago began to give a bit of trouble going down and waking at 4am. So we had a go as Ms. Hogg's pick up put down technique. Bearing in mind that she had said that everything we were doing so far was just a little bit wrong, in the nicest possible way.
The pick up put down technique is sort of baby slight of hand. The idea is just to get him to sooth himself to sleep. That's fine. Put him down and he moans a bit and drifts off, but what if he doesn't. Rocking him to sleep is a prop. Feeding him to sleep is a prop, singing, noises, counting sheep, and certainly sleeping tablets are all props. The trouble with props is that the encourage dependence and reliance and next thing you know, your son is 25 and asks his girlfriend to rock him gently to sleep. So no props.
What one does is to pick up the crying child (any thing less than a cry should be ignored) and rub his back while shushing loudly. Shssh shssh until your lungs empty and you struggle for breath. When he has stopped crying you gently put him back into the cot. Then continue to shssh until he is restful. Pick him up if he cries again and repeat. If he doesn't make a sound when he is put down, the chances are he will be asleep in minutes. The only other trick seems to be that if he moves too much in your arms, you have to put him down. Pushing or kicking is not allowed in this system and is disencouraged through the put down. There would seem at first glance to be so many holes in this system to render it at best confusing and at worst useless, but it does work. How does little Max know he is being put down because he is quiet or because he is pushing and kicking. Well he does know - Ms. Hogg told me so. Why such praise, because it works. Max now puts himself to sleep and is doing better at sleeping in the crèche. Myself and Ciara get an easier time of it in the evenings and there is just a lot more happiness in the family unit!
It is certainly an advance on most of the baby book advice that is so vague as to be relevant to no one and every one. "Your baby is six months old, he should be able to clap his hands. This can happen any time from 3 mts until 24mts and may not happen at all don't worry. Your child will start to appreciate the difference between right and wrong - unless they are unless they are destined for a career in law or politics". You see? Useless.
This is because every child is so different as to need a baby book of their own. What a parent needs is a tool kit or a bag of tricks. We need list of techniques that are proven to work with at least 5% of the population, all listed and explained and cross referenced. We will try them all. Maybe they should be sorted on their popularity. That way the chances are success will be achieved by the law of averages. We don't want to know why something is happening or working. We just want to know how to fix it. Like the pick up put down technique. Let's survey a thousand parent s and see did they use a particular technique, and score the techniques by popularity. We just want to know that they work, not why. It's like raising one head end of the cot to help sleep during a cold. It works and helps the little fello breath easier because it keeps all the mucous where it sould be and not up in his nose and throat. We don't want to know the background, the studies, the medical references and explanations. At 4am with a screaming and snorting and sniffling child, we want to know to try it and if it doesn't work we will try what's on the next page. There is moneye in this! I think the title should be - "Did you try ...."
Well, that's the millions made!
Little Max used to have only himself to worry about. He used to enjoy a world of one where his every need was catered for like a high-roller in the most exclusive of Vegas Casinos. His routine was inviolate. His sleeping and waking carefully monitored, recorded and studied in forensic detail.
Things have changed for two very good reasons. The first is that he is now attending crèche and the second is that we discovered a lady named Hogg. Now sadly she is not with us any more but her whispering ways with children are. It turned out that we were falling into some of the accidental parenting traps. These are her words now but on reading one of her conversations about getting children to sleep, it seemed as if she had been spying on us.
Her approach was gentle, she didn't say we were bad parents for rocking our child to sleep, she didn't say we were neglectful of his intellectual needs if we played a bit of music to him. She just pointed out that there was an easier way for both him and us. Now Max is a great sleeper but he does disturb easily. He can start at the test noise and a couple of weeks ago began to give a bit of trouble going down and waking at 4am. So we had a go as Ms. Hogg's pick up put down technique. Bearing in mind that she had said that everything we were doing so far was just a little bit wrong, in the nicest possible way.
The pick up put down technique is sort of baby slight of hand. The idea is just to get him to sooth himself to sleep. That's fine. Put him down and he moans a bit and drifts off, but what if he doesn't. Rocking him to sleep is a prop. Feeding him to sleep is a prop, singing, noises, counting sheep, and certainly sleeping tablets are all props. The trouble with props is that the encourage dependence and reliance and next thing you know, your son is 25 and asks his girlfriend to rock him gently to sleep. So no props.
What one does is to pick up the crying child (any thing less than a cry should be ignored) and rub his back while shushing loudly. Shssh shssh until your lungs empty and you struggle for breath. When he has stopped crying you gently put him back into the cot. Then continue to shssh until he is restful. Pick him up if he cries again and repeat. If he doesn't make a sound when he is put down, the chances are he will be asleep in minutes. The only other trick seems to be that if he moves too much in your arms, you have to put him down. Pushing or kicking is not allowed in this system and is disencouraged through the put down. There would seem at first glance to be so many holes in this system to render it at best confusing and at worst useless, but it does work. How does little Max know he is being put down because he is quiet or because he is pushing and kicking. Well he does know - Ms. Hogg told me so. Why such praise, because it works. Max now puts himself to sleep and is doing better at sleeping in the crèche. Myself and Ciara get an easier time of it in the evenings and there is just a lot more happiness in the family unit!
It is certainly an advance on most of the baby book advice that is so vague as to be relevant to no one and every one. "Your baby is six months old, he should be able to clap his hands. This can happen any time from 3 mts until 24mts and may not happen at all don't worry. Your child will start to appreciate the difference between right and wrong - unless they are unless they are destined for a career in law or politics". You see? Useless.
This is because every child is so different as to need a baby book of their own. What a parent needs is a tool kit or a bag of tricks. We need list of techniques that are proven to work with at least 5% of the population, all listed and explained and cross referenced. We will try them all. Maybe they should be sorted on their popularity. That way the chances are success will be achieved by the law of averages. We don't want to know why something is happening or working. We just want to know how to fix it. Like the pick up put down technique. Let's survey a thousand parent s and see did they use a particular technique, and score the techniques by popularity. We just want to know that they work, not why. It's like raising one head end of the cot to help sleep during a cold. It works and helps the little fello breath easier because it keeps all the mucous where it sould be and not up in his nose and throat. We don't want to know the background, the studies, the medical references and explanations. At 4am with a screaming and snorting and sniffling child, we want to know to try it and if it doesn't work we will try what's on the next page. There is moneye in this! I think the title should be - "Did you try ...."
Well, that's the millions made!
Friday, January 6, 2012
Long overdue updates Pt. 1
Max is 6 months old. They have gone quite slowly from my vantage point. It is getting harder and harder to remember life without him. My memories are more full of happy times with him, and his mother too obviously. It is not sweetness and light every minute of every day, he can be tricky and the amount of work that has to be done to look after him is huge. But it is mostly sweetness and light.
He is a very happy baby. He smiles with very little provocation and gurgles and cheeps in the most delightful fashion. We have loads of games that we play with him, songs we sing and he's healthy and well. He can entertain himself and is progressing along all of the baby scales, graphs and charts that we can find, and we really have looked!
This weekend marks a big milestone in the family life. Ciara returns to work and Max goes to the creche full-time. He has had three sessions there already. The first was for one hour and he was the very model of a care-free baby. The second was for two hours and he was wonderful for the first hour and a half. Then the lovely edu-carers in the creche tried to feed him a bottle. He seemed hungry but in reality as it turned out he was just tired. Bringing him to the creche had knocked out his morning nap and he was not ready for this. He went nuts. The poor staff were doing their very best, but they just didn't know him yet and he didn't know them. We arrived and he was upset so we were upset and the aforementioned poor staff desperately explained how this can happen and how its ok (they had noo need for desperation, we are very impressed with them). He slept for three hours that afternoon and all was well. Of course this happened, sure it was bound to and thank God it happened on one of the short days rather than in the middle of a long day. Then on the third day all went according to plan with a bit of upsetting and a lot of happy play and crucially a long bottle feed and spoon feed from the staff. Mother and Father very pleased.
The other trial this week was of the bike. It was a windy and a bit wet of a morning but the bike made it in 28 minutes, door to door. There is still some tweaking to do on the set up of the bike in the morning, this should only take a few minutes but can take up to ten. I am reminded of the Full Metal Jacket training for assembling a rifle, I will have to practice hard and get it down to two minutes. The difficult part is the rain cover. There are two long poles that have to be disentangled and assembled and then the cover stretched over them and then zipped up. All the while Max has to be smiled at and reassured that the floor of the garage is not his new home.
Solid feeding is going very well but he has not put on much weight in the last month. This may be due to his very zealous approach to the jumperoo (bouncing toy - that he loves) or it may be due to several million other factors but if he ever hopes to play for any of the Munster, Clare, Leinster or Dublin teams he will need a bit more flesh on his bones. So we are carefully and steadily increasing his food intake. He is rising to the occasion and certainly the breakfast quantity has doubled in the last two weeks.
As I write it is Sunday morning and we all go to work tomorrow! Preparation is key and I expect that we will all sleep in our day clothes with our shoes on with our packed lunches clutched in our hands.
He is a very happy baby. He smiles with very little provocation and gurgles and cheeps in the most delightful fashion. We have loads of games that we play with him, songs we sing and he's healthy and well. He can entertain himself and is progressing along all of the baby scales, graphs and charts that we can find, and we really have looked!
This weekend marks a big milestone in the family life. Ciara returns to work and Max goes to the creche full-time. He has had three sessions there already. The first was for one hour and he was the very model of a care-free baby. The second was for two hours and he was wonderful for the first hour and a half. Then the lovely edu-carers in the creche tried to feed him a bottle. He seemed hungry but in reality as it turned out he was just tired. Bringing him to the creche had knocked out his morning nap and he was not ready for this. He went nuts. The poor staff were doing their very best, but they just didn't know him yet and he didn't know them. We arrived and he was upset so we were upset and the aforementioned poor staff desperately explained how this can happen and how its ok (they had noo need for desperation, we are very impressed with them). He slept for three hours that afternoon and all was well. Of course this happened, sure it was bound to and thank God it happened on one of the short days rather than in the middle of a long day. Then on the third day all went according to plan with a bit of upsetting and a lot of happy play and crucially a long bottle feed and spoon feed from the staff. Mother and Father very pleased.
The other trial this week was of the bike. It was a windy and a bit wet of a morning but the bike made it in 28 minutes, door to door. There is still some tweaking to do on the set up of the bike in the morning, this should only take a few minutes but can take up to ten. I am reminded of the Full Metal Jacket training for assembling a rifle, I will have to practice hard and get it down to two minutes. The difficult part is the rain cover. There are two long poles that have to be disentangled and assembled and then the cover stretched over them and then zipped up. All the while Max has to be smiled at and reassured that the floor of the garage is not his new home.
Solid feeding is going very well but he has not put on much weight in the last month. This may be due to his very zealous approach to the jumperoo (bouncing toy - that he loves) or it may be due to several million other factors but if he ever hopes to play for any of the Munster, Clare, Leinster or Dublin teams he will need a bit more flesh on his bones. So we are carefully and steadily increasing his food intake. He is rising to the occasion and certainly the breakfast quantity has doubled in the last two weeks.
As I write it is Sunday morning and we all go to work tomorrow! Preparation is key and I expect that we will all sleep in our day clothes with our shoes on with our packed lunches clutched in our hands.
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