Yes that's right loyal readers, Max has his first tooth, teeth to be exact for the second one came a day after the first. They are two little sharp things like flint edges sticking out of his gums. He did exactly the right amount of crying and not sleeping to herald their arrival. He had red cheeks and runny stools. I know that this blog does verge on the coprophilic at times but a good teething nappy is an assault on the senses. The sights, the sounds, the smells and best of all, if your technique is not right, the feel. This will continue in fits and starts for a long time. The first set of teeth should number 24 and they take a couple of years to all come down or up. Shortly followed by a rapid falling out. It strikes me as a really stupid system. I would be delighted if a clever geneticist could splice out the milk teeth gene and trigger the regular teeth gene earlier. Or maybe we could just eliminate the milk teeth and have little baby dentures until the adult teeth started to grow. We also need to seriously consider some form of less intact gum. Even for adults, forcing a blunt piece of ceramic through a perfectly lovely piece of flesh is a bit of a pain. I still have two wisdom teeth to come down and they cause great pain when they decide to make a small advance. At least I am not still wearing nappies, otherwise my caregiver would be in for an awful time.
Max has also had a lovely two weeks in crèche. It is a perfectly splendid place full of bright colours, happy babies and caring staff. So caring infant that their titles are actually edu-carers. I do understand that this is a butchering of the English language to a criminal extent but it is reasonably descriptive. They are part nurses and part teachers. 'Nurchers' might be a better term. They look after Max from about 8:10 until 16:10, that's eight hours a day. That's a lot. Thank all that is good, he loves it. At the weekends we adopt a policy of accelerated learning so that we can balance out the amount of input the crèche edu-carers have. Everyone told us that once he went to crèche he would get loads of infections, colds, coughs and awful diseases. He has. His immune system is working like a fire crew on bonfire night. He is producing mucous and pus and doing it all with a brave face. He is equal to this task and the thing that keeps myself and Ciara going through the day's work is the thought of seeing him at the end of it and seeing his beautiful big smile!
But all of that is not all, he is sitting up properly now, he is reaching for things and he can shake a rattle like the best of us. He is singing to himself, he is talking to himself, he is simply growing up at a rate that frightens. We have resolved to grip the sides and hold on tight!
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Long Overdue Updates Pt. 2
So where are we? How is he doing? What exactly is going on in Max's world. He is simply turning from an infant into a baby. To explain this will take some doing and I am quite clear that this may be entirely inexplicable to anyone who is not a parent of Max but sure let me have a go.
Little Max used to have only himself to worry about. He used to enjoy a world of one where his every need was catered for like a high-roller in the most exclusive of Vegas Casinos. His routine was inviolate. His sleeping and waking carefully monitored, recorded and studied in forensic detail.
Things have changed for two very good reasons. The first is that he is now attending crèche and the second is that we discovered a lady named Hogg. Now sadly she is not with us any more but her whispering ways with children are. It turned out that we were falling into some of the accidental parenting traps. These are her words now but on reading one of her conversations about getting children to sleep, it seemed as if she had been spying on us.
Her approach was gentle, she didn't say we were bad parents for rocking our child to sleep, she didn't say we were neglectful of his intellectual needs if we played a bit of music to him. She just pointed out that there was an easier way for both him and us. Now Max is a great sleeper but he does disturb easily. He can start at the test noise and a couple of weeks ago began to give a bit of trouble going down and waking at 4am. So we had a go as Ms. Hogg's pick up put down technique. Bearing in mind that she had said that everything we were doing so far was just a little bit wrong, in the nicest possible way.
The pick up put down technique is sort of baby slight of hand. The idea is just to get him to sooth himself to sleep. That's fine. Put him down and he moans a bit and drifts off, but what if he doesn't. Rocking him to sleep is a prop. Feeding him to sleep is a prop, singing, noises, counting sheep, and certainly sleeping tablets are all props. The trouble with props is that the encourage dependence and reliance and next thing you know, your son is 25 and asks his girlfriend to rock him gently to sleep. So no props.
What one does is to pick up the crying child (any thing less than a cry should be ignored) and rub his back while shushing loudly. Shssh shssh until your lungs empty and you struggle for breath. When he has stopped crying you gently put him back into the cot. Then continue to shssh until he is restful. Pick him up if he cries again and repeat. If he doesn't make a sound when he is put down, the chances are he will be asleep in minutes. The only other trick seems to be that if he moves too much in your arms, you have to put him down. Pushing or kicking is not allowed in this system and is disencouraged through the put down. There would seem at first glance to be so many holes in this system to render it at best confusing and at worst useless, but it does work. How does little Max know he is being put down because he is quiet or because he is pushing and kicking. Well he does know - Ms. Hogg told me so. Why such praise, because it works. Max now puts himself to sleep and is doing better at sleeping in the crèche. Myself and Ciara get an easier time of it in the evenings and there is just a lot more happiness in the family unit!
It is certainly an advance on most of the baby book advice that is so vague as to be relevant to no one and every one. "Your baby is six months old, he should be able to clap his hands. This can happen any time from 3 mts until 24mts and may not happen at all don't worry. Your child will start to appreciate the difference between right and wrong - unless they are unless they are destined for a career in law or politics". You see? Useless.
This is because every child is so different as to need a baby book of their own. What a parent needs is a tool kit or a bag of tricks. We need list of techniques that are proven to work with at least 5% of the population, all listed and explained and cross referenced. We will try them all. Maybe they should be sorted on their popularity. That way the chances are success will be achieved by the law of averages. We don't want to know why something is happening or working. We just want to know how to fix it. Like the pick up put down technique. Let's survey a thousand parent s and see did they use a particular technique, and score the techniques by popularity. We just want to know that they work, not why. It's like raising one head end of the cot to help sleep during a cold. It works and helps the little fello breath easier because it keeps all the mucous where it sould be and not up in his nose and throat. We don't want to know the background, the studies, the medical references and explanations. At 4am with a screaming and snorting and sniffling child, we want to know to try it and if it doesn't work we will try what's on the next page. There is moneye in this! I think the title should be - "Did you try ...."
Well, that's the millions made!
Little Max used to have only himself to worry about. He used to enjoy a world of one where his every need was catered for like a high-roller in the most exclusive of Vegas Casinos. His routine was inviolate. His sleeping and waking carefully monitored, recorded and studied in forensic detail.
Things have changed for two very good reasons. The first is that he is now attending crèche and the second is that we discovered a lady named Hogg. Now sadly she is not with us any more but her whispering ways with children are. It turned out that we were falling into some of the accidental parenting traps. These are her words now but on reading one of her conversations about getting children to sleep, it seemed as if she had been spying on us.
Her approach was gentle, she didn't say we were bad parents for rocking our child to sleep, she didn't say we were neglectful of his intellectual needs if we played a bit of music to him. She just pointed out that there was an easier way for both him and us. Now Max is a great sleeper but he does disturb easily. He can start at the test noise and a couple of weeks ago began to give a bit of trouble going down and waking at 4am. So we had a go as Ms. Hogg's pick up put down technique. Bearing in mind that she had said that everything we were doing so far was just a little bit wrong, in the nicest possible way.
The pick up put down technique is sort of baby slight of hand. The idea is just to get him to sooth himself to sleep. That's fine. Put him down and he moans a bit and drifts off, but what if he doesn't. Rocking him to sleep is a prop. Feeding him to sleep is a prop, singing, noises, counting sheep, and certainly sleeping tablets are all props. The trouble with props is that the encourage dependence and reliance and next thing you know, your son is 25 and asks his girlfriend to rock him gently to sleep. So no props.
What one does is to pick up the crying child (any thing less than a cry should be ignored) and rub his back while shushing loudly. Shssh shssh until your lungs empty and you struggle for breath. When he has stopped crying you gently put him back into the cot. Then continue to shssh until he is restful. Pick him up if he cries again and repeat. If he doesn't make a sound when he is put down, the chances are he will be asleep in minutes. The only other trick seems to be that if he moves too much in your arms, you have to put him down. Pushing or kicking is not allowed in this system and is disencouraged through the put down. There would seem at first glance to be so many holes in this system to render it at best confusing and at worst useless, but it does work. How does little Max know he is being put down because he is quiet or because he is pushing and kicking. Well he does know - Ms. Hogg told me so. Why such praise, because it works. Max now puts himself to sleep and is doing better at sleeping in the crèche. Myself and Ciara get an easier time of it in the evenings and there is just a lot more happiness in the family unit!
It is certainly an advance on most of the baby book advice that is so vague as to be relevant to no one and every one. "Your baby is six months old, he should be able to clap his hands. This can happen any time from 3 mts until 24mts and may not happen at all don't worry. Your child will start to appreciate the difference between right and wrong - unless they are unless they are destined for a career in law or politics". You see? Useless.
This is because every child is so different as to need a baby book of their own. What a parent needs is a tool kit or a bag of tricks. We need list of techniques that are proven to work with at least 5% of the population, all listed and explained and cross referenced. We will try them all. Maybe they should be sorted on their popularity. That way the chances are success will be achieved by the law of averages. We don't want to know why something is happening or working. We just want to know how to fix it. Like the pick up put down technique. Let's survey a thousand parent s and see did they use a particular technique, and score the techniques by popularity. We just want to know that they work, not why. It's like raising one head end of the cot to help sleep during a cold. It works and helps the little fello breath easier because it keeps all the mucous where it sould be and not up in his nose and throat. We don't want to know the background, the studies, the medical references and explanations. At 4am with a screaming and snorting and sniffling child, we want to know to try it and if it doesn't work we will try what's on the next page. There is moneye in this! I think the title should be - "Did you try ...."
Well, that's the millions made!
Friday, January 6, 2012
Long overdue updates Pt. 1
Max is 6 months old. They have gone quite slowly from my vantage point. It is getting harder and harder to remember life without him. My memories are more full of happy times with him, and his mother too obviously. It is not sweetness and light every minute of every day, he can be tricky and the amount of work that has to be done to look after him is huge. But it is mostly sweetness and light.
He is a very happy baby. He smiles with very little provocation and gurgles and cheeps in the most delightful fashion. We have loads of games that we play with him, songs we sing and he's healthy and well. He can entertain himself and is progressing along all of the baby scales, graphs and charts that we can find, and we really have looked!
This weekend marks a big milestone in the family life. Ciara returns to work and Max goes to the creche full-time. He has had three sessions there already. The first was for one hour and he was the very model of a care-free baby. The second was for two hours and he was wonderful for the first hour and a half. Then the lovely edu-carers in the creche tried to feed him a bottle. He seemed hungry but in reality as it turned out he was just tired. Bringing him to the creche had knocked out his morning nap and he was not ready for this. He went nuts. The poor staff were doing their very best, but they just didn't know him yet and he didn't know them. We arrived and he was upset so we were upset and the aforementioned poor staff desperately explained how this can happen and how its ok (they had noo need for desperation, we are very impressed with them). He slept for three hours that afternoon and all was well. Of course this happened, sure it was bound to and thank God it happened on one of the short days rather than in the middle of a long day. Then on the third day all went according to plan with a bit of upsetting and a lot of happy play and crucially a long bottle feed and spoon feed from the staff. Mother and Father very pleased.
The other trial this week was of the bike. It was a windy and a bit wet of a morning but the bike made it in 28 minutes, door to door. There is still some tweaking to do on the set up of the bike in the morning, this should only take a few minutes but can take up to ten. I am reminded of the Full Metal Jacket training for assembling a rifle, I will have to practice hard and get it down to two minutes. The difficult part is the rain cover. There are two long poles that have to be disentangled and assembled and then the cover stretched over them and then zipped up. All the while Max has to be smiled at and reassured that the floor of the garage is not his new home.
Solid feeding is going very well but he has not put on much weight in the last month. This may be due to his very zealous approach to the jumperoo (bouncing toy - that he loves) or it may be due to several million other factors but if he ever hopes to play for any of the Munster, Clare, Leinster or Dublin teams he will need a bit more flesh on his bones. So we are carefully and steadily increasing his food intake. He is rising to the occasion and certainly the breakfast quantity has doubled in the last two weeks.
As I write it is Sunday morning and we all go to work tomorrow! Preparation is key and I expect that we will all sleep in our day clothes with our shoes on with our packed lunches clutched in our hands.
He is a very happy baby. He smiles with very little provocation and gurgles and cheeps in the most delightful fashion. We have loads of games that we play with him, songs we sing and he's healthy and well. He can entertain himself and is progressing along all of the baby scales, graphs and charts that we can find, and we really have looked!
This weekend marks a big milestone in the family life. Ciara returns to work and Max goes to the creche full-time. He has had three sessions there already. The first was for one hour and he was the very model of a care-free baby. The second was for two hours and he was wonderful for the first hour and a half. Then the lovely edu-carers in the creche tried to feed him a bottle. He seemed hungry but in reality as it turned out he was just tired. Bringing him to the creche had knocked out his morning nap and he was not ready for this. He went nuts. The poor staff were doing their very best, but they just didn't know him yet and he didn't know them. We arrived and he was upset so we were upset and the aforementioned poor staff desperately explained how this can happen and how its ok (they had noo need for desperation, we are very impressed with them). He slept for three hours that afternoon and all was well. Of course this happened, sure it was bound to and thank God it happened on one of the short days rather than in the middle of a long day. Then on the third day all went according to plan with a bit of upsetting and a lot of happy play and crucially a long bottle feed and spoon feed from the staff. Mother and Father very pleased.
The other trial this week was of the bike. It was a windy and a bit wet of a morning but the bike made it in 28 minutes, door to door. There is still some tweaking to do on the set up of the bike in the morning, this should only take a few minutes but can take up to ten. I am reminded of the Full Metal Jacket training for assembling a rifle, I will have to practice hard and get it down to two minutes. The difficult part is the rain cover. There are two long poles that have to be disentangled and assembled and then the cover stretched over them and then zipped up. All the while Max has to be smiled at and reassured that the floor of the garage is not his new home.
Solid feeding is going very well but he has not put on much weight in the last month. This may be due to his very zealous approach to the jumperoo (bouncing toy - that he loves) or it may be due to several million other factors but if he ever hopes to play for any of the Munster, Clare, Leinster or Dublin teams he will need a bit more flesh on his bones. So we are carefully and steadily increasing his food intake. He is rising to the occasion and certainly the breakfast quantity has doubled in the last two weeks.
As I write it is Sunday morning and we all go to work tomorrow! Preparation is key and I expect that we will all sleep in our day clothes with our shoes on with our packed lunches clutched in our hands.
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